How to calm an angry person

Lecture



You can quite calm another person, consciously reducing your height visually. Let's look at a simple situation. You slightly violated the rules of the road, for example, drove through a red light, did not give way or exceeded the speed, and the police stopped you. In such circumstances, the policeman considers you as an opponent. He approaches the car, while most of the drivers remain in the car, lowers the glass and begins to apologize or deny the fact of the violation. At the same time, drivers send several negative signals of the body language at once.
  1. The officer is forced to leave his own territory (patrol car) and go to your (your car).
  2. Assuming that you really broke the rules, your apologies can be seen as an attack on an officer.
  3. Staying in the car, you create a barrier between yourself and the police.
Since the police officer has superiority in the circumstances, such behavior can only worsen the situation. Apparently, you can not do without a fine. Try a different tactic.
    1. Immediately get out of the car (leave your territory) and approach the patrol car (officer's territory). In this case, he will not have to leave his own space, and he will feel more comfortable. (Do not try to do the same in the USA, where such actions are strictly prohibited and can be considered as an attack!)
    2. Lean forward so that you look like a smaller officer.
    3. Lower your status: tell the officer how irresponsible you were. Increase the status of a police officer: thank him for pointing out the mistake you made, tell me that you understand how difficult his job is and how difficult it is to communicate with idiots like you.
  How to calm an angry person
“Please don't penalize me!”
  1. Open your palms and ask in a trembling voice not to write you a fine. If you are a woman, and a policeman is a man, smile, blink helplessly, speak in a high, trembling voice. If you are a man, then just take a receipt and pay a fine.
By your behavior, you show the policeman that you are not a threat. He will feel like a parent raising a disobedient child, and may well confine himself to a stern warning without writing a fine! This tactic works in about half of the cases, which significantly reduces the amount of fines paid.
Exactly the same method can be applied, calming an irritated customer returning to the store a poor-quality product or who came to complain about something. In this case, the desk is a barrier between store personnel and a customer. Staying on your side, you would never calm down an irritated person. With this kind of behavior you will only make him more angry. If the store employee leaves the desk, opens his hands, leans towards the buyer and takes advantage of the techniques we have just described, the buyer will be disarmed. Remember that staying on your side of the table or desk, you only increase the degree of irritation of the buyer.
 

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Body language

Terms: Body language