8. Rationally emotive approach in individual and family counseling

Plan

1. Basic theoretical principles

2. Consulting techniques

1. Basic theoretical principles

A. Ellis is the author of rational emotive philosophy of rational emotive theory and rational emotive therapy, which since 1992 is called rational emotive behavioral therapy.

The main provisions of rational emotive theory used in counseling and psychotherapeutic work with spouses and parents boil down to the following: thinking, emotions and behavior are three interrelated psychological aspects of human activity.

At the same time, it is thinking that is the main factor determining the emotional experience of a person. Our thoughts about marriage, about family, partner, about ourselves, about children determine feelings towards them. Emotional and behavioral reactions to current events in the family are not caused by the event itself, but by the perception, understanding and evaluation of this event. External events of the past and present, other people influence the emotional state and behavior of a person in a family. But they are not the direct cause of human emotions. Their origins in understanding the events of the past, present or future.

Three “inner ideas” about marriage have a decisive influence on the assessment of their family life, its success: thoughts and feelings about their own marriage;

the image of an ideal marriage;

information about real-life relationships in families of friends,

colleagues, parents.

The discrepancy between the ideas of the ideal marriage and your own marriage becomes stress, which further destroys the marriage union. And, on the contrary, idealized marriage loses its attractiveness and is not elevated to the rank of an absolute after realizing the role and place it occupies in society. When the discrepancy disappears (in my own thoughts) between the way “our family lives” and “how our happy friends live”, and also “how I want us to live”, there is a chance to overcome stress and change our own behavior.

A. Ellis proposed a model illustrating the mechanism of the onset of emotional disorders. He called it ABC. This is the alphabet of stress, including stress, arising in family life.

In this model:

A (Activating) —activating event (activating experience), external event;

B (Beliefs) - perception, opinions, beliefs, beliefs, judgments that a person uses to interpret events;

С (Consequences) - consequences, emotional and behavioral reactions that are caused by personal interpretations of events (A) with the help of judgments (B).

In fact, the emotional consequence of C does not arise under the influence of event A, but under the influence of B, the person's belief system.

Rationally-emotive counseling is based on the following basic principles:

1. Thoughts are the main factor determining the emotional state of a person (as we think and feel).

2. The basis of the pathology of emotions and many psychopathological states are violations of mental processes, which include:

exaggeration; simplification; excessive generalization; similar assumptions; erroneous conclusions; absolutization.

These cognitive errors A.Ellis calls "irrational judgments."

The criteria for judging are irrational are the following:

1) they are formed on the basis of cognitive errors: exaggeration, simplification, excessive generalization, illogical conclusions and assumptions, absolutization;

2) such judgments can neither be confirmed nor disproved;

3) they cause strong negative emotional experiences, the intensity of which is inadequate to the intensity of the stimulus - much stronger;

4) they prevent a person from reasonably assessing what is happening, to adequately resolve the situation.

Irrational judgments are our expectations about what other people expect from us, and our expectations about what other people should be and what the world as a whole should be.

Most of the irrational judgments can be attributed to one of the following main categories:

1. Catastrophic attitudes aimed at exaggerating the magnitude of the negative consequences of events. Catastrophic attitudes manifest themselves in the statements of clients in the form of extreme evaluations like “terrible”, “intolerable”, etc.

2. Responsibilities that reflect inadequate requirements for people and situations. Manifested in the statements of "must", "must", "should", "necessary", etc.

3. Evaluation of installation, aimed at determining the value of themselves and others, based on individual personality traits, actions, qualities, aspects. Evaluation plants suggest that some people are less valuable than others.

4. Installation on the mandatory implementation of their needs, which are considered as necessary conditions for happiness and survival. These desires grow to inadequate requirements, which become a source of emotional disturbances.

According to A. Ellis, irrational attitudes are rigid emotional-cognitive connections. They are absolutist in nature: they order, they prescribe, they require to act in one way or another. They do not correspond to reality, and the impossibility of implementing irrational attitudes leads to long-lasting inadequate emotions for a situation.

A normal person has a rational system of attitudes, that is, a system of flexible emotional-cognitive connections. This system expresses the rather preferable, probabilistic nature of events. A rational system of attitudes corresponds either to emotions of moderate strength, or to intense emotions that do not fascinate a person for a long time and do not block his activity.

5. Takes into account the influence of socio-cultural and hereditary factors on the formation of irrational attitudes.

6. Irrational attitudes can be changed by active and persistent observation of your thinking, self-analysis.

A. Ellis identified several major categories of irrational judgments that he heard from his patients. The proposed list of irrational judgments is a generalized typology.

1. Everyone who is not indifferent to me should love and support me, and if not, then it is terrible.

2. When people act badly or dishonestly, they deserve censure, condemnation and punishment; they are bad people. "It is entirely your fault."

3. It's terrible when things are not going the way I wanted, planned, expected.

4. I should be more careful and vigilant about uncertain or potentially dangerous events.

5. I am worthless if I am in some way incompetent and do not always succeed.

6. There must be an ideal solution to this problem; I have to be sure of the correctness of the decision, I have to control the situation.

7. The world must be fair and just.

8. I should never have discomfort and pain.

9. I can get crazy.

10. It is better to avoid life difficulties than to confront them.

11. I need someone stronger than me, so that you can rely on him, otherwise I can not live.

12. Emotional experiences are triggered by external events, I have little opportunity to control feelings or change them.

13. The past is the cause of my problems today, because those old events have greatly influenced me and will continue to act.

Family myths

A. Ellis believes that the deterioration of family relations is associated with unrealistic demands and expectations of the spouses. The use of irrational judgments in the conjugal interaction: “must”, “catastrophisation”, “blame should be” provokes a corporate conflict based on the presentation of unrealistic (mythical) requirements to a partner, to oneself, to marriage.

Based on irrational judgments, family myths are formed. These include:

1) the myth of eternal love;

2) the myth of the magic power of love;

3) the myth of the immutability of happiness in marriage;

4) the myth of the dependence of emotions on the behavior of the other spouse (children);

5) the myth of absoluteness of concepts, assessments;

6) the myth of "an eye for an eye", "a tooth for a tooth;

7) the myth of “evil fate;

8) the myth of "sacrifice" of parents; 9) the myth of guilt and punishment.

2. Consulting techniques

The main purpose of counseling can be formulated as a “waiver of requirements.” A rational therapist encourages his clients to limit their demands to a minimum.

At the initial stages of working on the client's belief system, the psychologist seeks, first of all, to identify irrational attitudes. The identification of such installations is helped by the use by the client of such words as “should”, “should”, “is necessary”. The psychologist often “provokes” the client to use these words in a conversation, expressing hypothetical assumptions containing these words so that the client recognizes their power over themselves.

To identify irrational installations, the well-known technique of A. Beck is also used: decatastrification , or the “what if” technique. This technique is designed to investigate actual, actual events and those consequences that exist only in the client's imagination and cause him psychological damage, causing a feeling of anxiety. The technique helps clients prepare for the consequences associated with fear, and is also useful for reducing avoidance

After identifying irrational attitudes, the psychologist proceeds to the reconstruction of the belief system. The impact is carried out at three levels: emotional, cognitive and behavioral.

1. Impact at the cognitive level. A Socratic type of dialogue between the client and the psychologist is used, as well as a cognitive dispute . The tasks of a psychologist are to clarify the meaning, to demonstrate logical inconsistency. In the course of such a dispute, a secondary benefit may be revealed, which is provided by the preservation of an irrational installation. A consultant teaches clients semantic accuracy: if a client is not loved, this does not mean that they will not always be loved; if a client fails, it does not mean that he can never succeed, etc.

2. Impact on an emotional level. The psychologist uses different ways to dramatize preferences and obligations, so that clients can clearly distinguish between these two phenomena (the difference “would be better” from “should”). Therapist may use:

- role-playing game , so that the client sees his false ideas and their influence on relationships with other people;

- modeling to show the customer how to take

various ideas;

- humor , to bring to the absurd irrational thoughts;

- unconditional acceptance , showing the client that he accepts it, despite the presence of negative features, thereby giving impetus to self-acceptance;

- emotionally intense dissuasion, leading customers to abandon some absurd ideas and replace them with more reasonable concepts;

- encourages behavior associated with risk : encourages customers to self-disclosure, invites them to share their socially disapproving feelings (anger, hostility).

3. Effects at a behavioral level. Behavioral methods in PET are also used to change the cognition of clients. The tendency to perfectionism can be reduced by performing the following tasks of a psychologist: take a risk; fail purposely in solving any problem (for example, it is deliberately bad to speak to the public); imagine yourself in situations of failure; undertake the activities that the client considers particularly dangerous.